literature

You Are Invited to My Wedding

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Your days of 'Spouse-hunting' on the web on sites such as 'www.getlaid.com' are now officially over thanks to Mark Zuckerberg's ingenious invention of Facebook Matrimony!

Why marry anyone else when you can tie the knot with your own best friend?!
What's wrong? Getting cold feet? Well here's a list of reasons why getting married on Facebook is the best thing that could ever happen to you:


1.A Facebook marriage costs next to nothing to arrange and host. Just create an event for your wedding on your Facebook account, invite your entire friends' list and you won't even have to spend a penny on a wedding cake that no one will eat! The only expenses a Facebook couple will have to bear are their respective monthly charges for the internet service they use!

2. If a Facebook couple ever gets into an argument, the only damage the spouses will do to each other is flooding each others' walls with bitter words, but they can never hurl physical objects at each other. Imagine all the money they'd save on health insurance. They'll both get out of fights alive!

3. Dealing with In-laws-pretending to be nice to them, faking smiles, buying them expensive gifts-will never be a burden a Facebook Couple will have to bear, simply because they won't have any in-laws to begin with! In cyber space, you get to choose the family you want to spend the rest of your life with. Don't want a nosy, grumpy old woman for a mother-in-law? That's easy! Just ignore her friend requests and even if she pokes you a million times, she will never be able to harm you more than that!
Our world will be only a step away from attaining world peace once mother and daughter-in-law squabbles are out of the way. It's a win-win for both couples and the  UNO really.

4. The closest a Facebook couple will ever get to having kids is making love in a house they constructed in Cityville and the virtual baby that popped up as a result!
So, thanks to FB, the world's pollution will decrease by an astonishing eighty percent with the omission of improper baby-diaper disposal! Also, the unbearable screaming and wailing sounds of kids worldwide will to cease to exist, ultimately leading to a fall in the world's noise pollution level and saving couples from Insomnia. What a wonderful, atmosphere-friendly world it will be!

5. Since Facebook couples don't really live in a house together, wives will never have to worry house-chores for as long as eternity! No more picking up after your husband, doing his dirty laundry, washing dishes like a slave or wasting hours in the kitchen preparing meals your husband will never appreciate! The only domestic duty you will ever have to do is post a picture of a mouth-watering meal onto your husband's wall.

6.Facebook husbands will have it easy too. Forget about waking up early in the morning to the sound of an annoying alarm clock everyday or getting shouted at by an obnoxious Boss. As long as you're married on Facebook, you, as a Husband, will never have to be the Bread-earner of your family, err minus the kids, ever again! Posting a picture of loaf of bread on your spouse's wall will simply do the trick!

7. Forgetting anniversaries and birthdays is all old school! Facebook will never let the dates of these special occasions slip from your mind even if you want them to! Hence, if you have a bad memory, there's absolutely no reason for you to worry about your spouse getting mad at you for not getting them an anniversary gift. The Facebook team cares about your marriage and it will always notify you of upcoming events. Also, if you're broke or want an economical option for a gift, you can always give other free greeting cards and presents on Facebook! So you can hold on to the green and still have a great time.

8. Facebook wives never have to fuss over looking gorgeous for their husbands 24/7. Dressing up once a week, taking a picture, and uploading it as a profile picture is all the attention you will have to give to your physical appearance as a Facebook wife!

9. Even if, God forbid, your relationship doesn't work out well and you start getting fed up of your spouse flooding your notifications all the time,there's still no need to fret. Facebook also has your divorce covered for you. Facebook divorces are so painless, you could get divorced ten times and still be in possession of all your belongings. Thats right. No more excruciatingly long and boring court-room appearances to sit through, or hiring expensive lawyers to fight for who gets what. A simple change of your relationship status to 'Single' is all you need to be ready to Mingle again!

So there you have it! Join Facebook today and make your own Fairy-tale-Happy-Ending a virtual reality!

                                  
Facebook: The Social Wedding Site- Connecting lovers one relationship status at a time <3


                   <3 ~*~<3~*~HAPPILY FACEBOOK-MARRIED~*~<3~*~<3


WARNING: Facebook couples will never be able to express their love for each other in physical terms therefore eradicating the process of reproduction from our planet and as predicted, the year 2012 will mark the end of all human civilization.
On Facebook!



Who are you married to?! :D (on facebook or in real life, whichever :P)


>The inspiration for this piece came from the fact that I myself am married to one of my Female-Best Friends on Facebook! :D
Aaah the things one can accomplish on the internet!

P.S. I'd love it if you commented. It's always a pleasure for me to know what you think about my work ^_^ thanks a bunch :3 <3

NOTE: anyone who takes this seriously doesn't have a sense of humor. I'm not supporting internet-relationships through this composition. So please don't make a big deal out of it.
Cheers!

*This deviation also got published on the website 'www.ideasevolved.com! Yayie! my first online publication! xD You can go check it out here : [link] :3*
© 2011 - 2024 A-w0man
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