The Murderer Called Spite

Oooo, the taste of bitterness is a different voice for you. It's good. I think that this voice is different in theme but portrays a lot of the stuff we've talked about before. The rhyme of glare and care is very 21st century, but the whole irksome, post-modernist, raw-feelings poetry is really only good in controlled doses (like Lady Gaga). But you can see previous comments about easy or cheap rhymes.
I think that this sounds an awful lot like some of the raging music that I occasionally headbang to when working out, and that is fine. I think we should discuss thematic goals though. You don't have to know exactly what you want the theme, structure, and word choice to say every time you sit down to write. But, I think you might want to have a vague idea so you aren't just stacking words vertcially and when you reach the end, you should look back at it, read it out loud, and ask yourself if you accomplished what you wanted. Take a hard look at your lines (I can teach you how to use scansion later if you'd like, that is poetic analysis) and see what the themes are and whether you could improve the theme by writing more, writing less, adding or rearranging words, lines, or stanzas, and see what you can come up with. One of the most helpful things for me is to sit down with a notebook and a pad and write out a draft. The draft usually sucks. So I can tweak it, cross it out, scratch at it with my pen and generally waste a good deal of time raging at myself for bringing such a mutated wretch into existence. Then, when i think it's half decent, I start to type it. I can type pretty fast, but when I have to read something else, it gets pretty slow. This will force you through stuff even as basic as spelling to as expansive as overall themes. I remember actually scrapping half a poem because halfway through was a better end and the poem just honestly did not need the second half. So in terms of your editing process which is especially key to revising your thoughts and themes, that is an effective way. Ultimately (man, I say that too much) you have to figure out on your own what exactly you want to say and how you want to think about how you are going to say it. And I kind of feel like that was slightly lacking in this. Did you write this in a fit of emotion or did you pull it out of reverie?